Student Athlete

Staring at the map of last Saturday
trying to take it all in at once

I can remember almost every detail
so clearly
so odd
for someone
with my memory capacity

All the pictures by signs
all the good food
and good times with you

It helps me
with remembering
why I’m becoming
a student athlete meme

to get back to you

never stop hustling
🙏💯🔥😂💪
John 3:16

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I try to remember but it all just blends together.
It’s kinda hard to tell exactly where
the minute hand crosses from afar.

But was I happy?
(Yea, sure. I remember it. Splendidly)

No. Really.
(I don’t know. If I could answer. Truthfully)

But was it worth it?
(I think I’m. Too scared. Of wasting time.
Oh, god. Am I wasting it? Right now?)

Better plan,
to make the most of it.

Better plan,
to plan better in the future

Better plan,
hold off longer,
defer your own reward.

Better plan,
to live better later.

What do you remember?
(Not much. Honestly.)

But were you happy?
(I said “I don’t know,” truthfully.)

If you don’t remember
does it matter?
(I’m seriously unsure.)

What’s in the future?
(Hopefully, happiness.
Currently, hope.)

What’s the point?
(What you mean?)

There’s a future’s future.
-j.maxwell

Robert Murtaugh

Yea yea,
More consciously sought distractions
yeild once more to your
millennial pre-life nihilism.

(chants of lifting bootstaps ring out in the backgound,
but Ive never seen anyone use the damn things

Tale as old as time.
Beauty and the Beast shit.
Yea sure, it’s cliche,
but at least it’s well animated.
(Don’t get me started on Emma Watson though , man, the autotune made me sick)

Maybe I’d take the crowd seriously
if they added impecable camera angles
for some sweeping ballroom scene
where they in unison tell me to get a STEM degree

(Too bad I already did))

Whatever,
guess it’s Game of Thrones.
Late to the party, I know,
but I just got my friend’s HBOGO.

But shit, if I have to watch Khalessi bitch
one more time like a spoiled rich kid
until she gets another title for her stupid duck lips
I’ll probably draw one too many analogies
linking feudalism to our current aristocracy
and frankly that makes me feel a little bit crazy
even though I’m probly not far off.

(Fuck, man. I just wanted to kill an hour before work.
Fuck work.
Overeducated, understimulated,
even though I don’t entirely hate it
but im really tired of teaching kids how to estimate
it really ain’t that fucking hard.

(Holy fuck, Aiden, sit in your goddamned seat.
Don make me glue the ground to your goddamned feet.
Don’t make me pull punches-
(No, that sounds weird, see, it’s how we let them buy snacks.)))

Read a book, but
Jesus Christ this guy is rambling.
some pop-sci bullshit,
but still hadn’t explained anything,
Heh, guess we have something in common then,
I should probly just see myself out.
-j.maxwell

Kids these days… all about them damn inclined planes wrapped around those god forsaken cylinders

Drinking diet coke,
Reposting old poems.

Best part about new audiences:
they don’t really know.

I digress,
Still don’t really get WordPress.
The reader’s a bit different.
Does this mean I’m old yet?

I think I’m okay,
I mean I still use SnapChat,
but I don’t get Insta or Twitter.

Whatever.

Not quite old.
Not quite youthful.
Still drinking weekdays
still trying stay useful,

but persistent underemployment,
mixed with chronic under-motivation,
has me basically accepting my station.

Indeed’s a time hole,
YouTube is too,
but one makes me feel
I have something to do.

Spent like five years
tying be made into a hammer.
Told last minute no nails.
–I’m screwed.